How many of you have ever been with a loved one who wants you to do things you don’t want? I suspect that I am the only one. In dating relationships, sometimes our partners want us to do things we don’t want to do, on the contrary, sometimes we want our partners to do things they don’t want to do.
“Don’t want to do it. It’s completely normal. Remember how your partner made you do things your way? Dr. William Glasser talked about the relationship between “being and being together”. Seven destructive habits. Criticize, accuse, scold, threaten, punish and bribe or reward control. Do you know anyone you like?I like to add guilt to the list. This seems to be the favourite behaviour of mothers. I know because I am alone. You can see this pattern in the behaviour of martyrs.
Say something similar: “After I’ve done everything for you.” You can’t do it for me. “I heard that some mothers are punching birth cards. You know. It sounds like: “I’m with you 36 hours to give birth! I only ask one thing: “I am a world-class complainant. I only ask my children. Question: “Do you want to clean the room today?” “”It can be set in different ways, with different intonation and volume, to convey various meanings. When I reach the end of the string, it usually sounds like this: “How can you be so lazy! If you don’t do this now, I will do something to offend you! “(This kind of pain usually manifests as a long time mocking my son.) Does this sound familiar to you? As for the, after I have said it three times, I think your partner may have heard it.
There is no time. Repeat him It’s unlikely that you will get what he wants. Complaints and criticisms are another behaviour we often use to get loved ones to do things they don’t like. That’s well known. Why can’t you be like _____________ anymore? Should you do that? Why you can never do what I want You will never do the right thing. Are you that lazy, stupid, frustrated, annoying person? I think these accusations, threats and punishments are self-evident. Inside sounds like: It’s always your fault. The threat is this: if you do or don’t do ______________, I will (insert what you have won. Punishment usually comes in the form of withdrawal. We can remain silent with our partner or give up feelings, or at least remain silent with us. When intimate Excitement.The ultimate destructive habit of fighting is called bribery or controlled remuneration. This may require more detailed discussion.
Bribery or compensation for control is not the same as bargaining. Relationship negotiation is very beneficial and essential for long-term success. They are two willing partners, each interested in helping each other get what they need while meeting their own needs. Bribery just means I have to put what I want to do in front of the carrot and do what I know I don’t want to do.
I remember the number of times I asked my youngest son to take his room. His room is always a mess, maybe unhealthy. I remember one day I decided to put the annoying behavior aside and try something new. So I said something similar, “Kyle, if you clean the room today, I will have a friend come over and play. “Do you know her reaction? She said, “I don’t love my boyfriend very much. “And the room has not been cleaned! What a surprise! Bribes or controlled payments should also be distinguished from spontaneous rewards. Can you tell the difference between the two situations? You want your partner to participate with you and you don’t want to participate. Company party. In order to bribe him or her as much as possible, temptingly say what to do after returning home from the party.
You ask your partner to attend the party, and he or she agrees. When you come home and enjoy good intimacy spontaneously, you will have a great time. Do these situations seem different to you? I bet they will be your partner. No matter how cleverly or cleverly controlled, no one likes to be controlled. It is almost certain that external control is something people resist. Most importantly, we often form destructive relationships with the people we love the most.